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Thoughts on Adoption

Stephen and I took these photos a couple of days ago near the border of Vietnam and China and it was such a beautiful day. I’m so thankful for the way God has built our life together. We’ve had so many good seasons together as well as experienced probably more than our fair share of pain and heartache. We were just kids when we met and God has done so much in our lives and hearts over the years. I’m so grateful for the life we have together and how God has sustained our family through every season. ❤️


As we make our way home and the kids are sleeping on the plane, I find myself finally having some time to truly reflect and process all that has taken place. We’ve had so many sweet and well-meaning comments from people lately about our family but there are a few things I’d like to share particularly in light of November being National Adoption Awareness Month.


We get asked all the time why we chose to adopt or have a large family. Contrary to what is sometimes thought, adoptive parents are not “saviors.” We could not carry the weight of that even if we wanted to. There is nothing particularly special about us that would enable us to do this. We don’t have a supernatural dose of faith or patience or courage. We are just regular people who have seen with our own eyes the inherent worth and beauty of children that need families and we’ve held these beautiful children in our own arms. I’ve wrestled in my heart with what I’m suppose to do with that. What is the proper response? Like many others, we’ve had doubts and fears along the way. Not enough finances, worries about whether we could handle it, fear of the unknown etc. I can promise you that we are far from “perfect” and this road has been incredibly difficult at times. That is because while adoption can be very beautiful, it also starts with loss.


In a perfect world, there would be no need for adoption. Families would never endure tragedy and parents and children would never be separated. And so while we wholeheartedly cherish our children’s birth cultures and want to honor their heritage, it’s not without a weightiness that this process is extremely complex and delicate. We don’t want to paint the picture that adoption is just all rainbows and sunshine because that would not be honoring the trauma that our children have endured in their past. Much of that we keep private for our children’s sakes because it is their story, not ours. But we are SO thankful that we get to be a part of their story moving forward!


It is such a privilege that we get to be their family and allow God to work in all of our lives in redemptive and healing ways that only He can. It is because of him that we can truly have peace and joy. So know that when you see this joy in our videos, it is absolutely genuine and real but not because life is always easy and happy. Our family has most definitely experienced it’s fair share of pain and brokenness. But I am so thankful that Jesus has been with us every step of the way. He is our joy, in both the hard and good times. It is his grace that sustains us. It’s why our channel is called Grace for the Millers. Because every bit of our story is about his grace in our lives. ❤️


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